Like the Phoenix from the ashes...

... so returns The Fourventeenth!

Yes, that's right... we're back with avengance and we're ready to rock. Well, at least ready to sit on the couch and try to let our wallets and livers recover from Vegas. Damn... I don't even know what to say about Vegas. However, here are my top ten memories / lessons learned from Vegas:
10. I have the coolest fiancee ever! (Illustrated by the fact that she laughed when I tried to explain why I had make-up on my pants.)
9. Australian dudes are greasy, just like Italians! (Illustrated by the fact that my fiancee lost her veil... at least that's the story...)
8. We all love Coffee Cup... and why shouldn't we?
7. Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting... hunting implies failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
6. Drinks with straps that go around your neck are sweet... you don't lose it, and your hands are free to do other things!
5. For one night, the guys got to be complete ballers... limo, velvet rope, private seating area, our own personal bottles of liquor and bartender! Damn! (Even if it was only for a couple hours, it was awesome.)
4. If the night at Margaritaville was any indication Lola and I are gonna have a lot of fun dancing to reggae in Jamaica.
3. Vegas is insane! I was never tired, hungover, or sick. It was like being in Disneyland for adults. And seriously... who doesn't want to go there.
2. Our friends are awesome. They let us drink, they let us dance, they let us gamble, they let us fight, they lets us party, and most importantly... they all got along and partied thier asses off for 3 days! Damn, it was a great time!

And the most important thing I learned in Vegas...

1. YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING! (As illustrated by my destruction of the MGM Grand sportsbook lighting system.)

Seriously, though... every time I think of our trip, I just get a big smile on my face. What a great time. What an ostentatious display of everything that people hate about America. It was bigger, more extravagant and more obnoxious than anything I ever expected. It was so much fun! From the "roudness of the glass" letting me know what was regular Coke, to the "double" Jack and Cokes, to our new friend Ben's antics in Da Club, and from the Spearmint Rhino to the Thunder From Down Under... what a great bachelor/bachelorette party we had.

So many more memories... so little time... fight in the Bellagio, brunch at the Bellagio, Stevie Wonder taking $100 from me and Lola in 3 hands of blackjack, Uncle Kracker, The Final Parlay, Sudio 54 (or so I am told), and just everyone living it up in general... nice. Good Times!

Well, I could go on and on, but I won't. For those of you who are new to the blog, you might want to check out the archives. An post which really encapsulates this blog and all that it stands for can be found in the March archive under the heading "Come Strong or Don't Come at All." Read it. Read the comments. You'll start to get it!

Long live the Fourventeenth!!!